Sunday, January 31, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
One of the most prominent arguments made by opponents of gay marriage is the issue of parenting. They say a baby needs a Mommy and a Daddy, so even if you have two spectacular specimens of one, the child will likely turn out to be a mass-murderer, a Wall Street schemer, or at least a serial bed-wetter. But what about the children of brave single parents? What if a wife leaves her husband and child? Or what if a husband dies, forcing his wife to harvest his dead body for sperm (without his or anyone else's consent) to produce the child she always wanted? What then, America?
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Ahh, those somber and profound wedding vows, they tug at the heartstrings every time. Is there really anything more moving than watching two people commit to each other, “till death do us part”? Particularly if one of those people has that very event scheduled in advance as a sentence for hideous crimes like serial murder, rape, child-molestation, and/or terrorism. That’s right, the government may not condone the crimes you’ve been convicted of, but you can still plan that special day and have your marriage recognized at the local and federal level in states such as Florida, Texas, North Carolina and California.
Now, some of these jurisdictions limit contact, with Texas actually forbidding any touching at all-- a proxy is called in during the vows. These two people will never live together, produce children, or even (in some states) be left unsupervised for a moment. Yet despite the restrictions on behavior and personal liberty imposed as part of a stint on Death Row, these citizen-felons still retain the civil right of marriage! Call the caterer, pick out a dress and book the prison chapel; the list of honeymoon destinations might be a little limited, but I hear the lighting in Supervised Visitation can really set the mood.
So even if you’ve got a date with a hypodermic syringe, don’t let that get in the way of planning a white wedding! Despite what you may have been convicted of, despite the life, liberty and happiness you’ve taken away from others, rest easy in your bunk knowing that you still might find that special someone.
Just try not to fall for your cellmate, because even if you are getting married in prison, it still can't be to a person of the same sex.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Gays are always up on the latest trends. Whether it is fashion, music, food, architecture, art, humor, politics, or health, we set the standard, and American culture usually follows (Gaga, anyone?). So, when the newest fad in physical fitness hit the airwaves, we were pretty surprised we hadn't thought of it first. Oh, wait, it's Bear Wrestling? No, we don't want to do that-- we'll leave that to the drunken fraternity brothers.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
You thought you knew the Environmental Protection Agency pretty well. You'd been friends for years; shared some good memories together, laughed, cried.... But the EPA has a secret it's been too afraid to tell you - until now. It's what you've always suspected, but could never prove, the EPA is coming out of its chemical closet.