Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Pen Guns: Does Size Really Matter?

Does the government's prohibition on same-sex unions have you on a vengeful bender? Why not go James Bond on their asses?* That's right, whip out those super stealthy pen guns, cane rifles and flashlight grenades! Even though you can't get gay married, there's nothing stopping you from making an artillery of improvisational weapons.

If you think hidden firearms are just for 007, think again. Since the National Firearms Act of 1934 the government has tried (somewhat unsuccessfully) to control "non-sporting" weapons. While the NFA does cover many different kinds of guns, 48 states allow AOW's, or "any other weapons." An AOW is defined as "any weapon or device capable of being concealed on the person, from which a shot can be discharged..." Pretty vague, right? Essentially, AOW's are anything and everything that can be rigged, duct-tapped, and jiggered to fire a bullet. In many ways, these weapons are legal by omission -- there's just no way to make a law that covers guns made from . . . well, whatever you want to make them from.

DIY guns might seem bangin', but do you really need a secret cell-phone gun? Those babies have terrible service coverage and are totally inaccurate. A lot of these weapons have super short barrels, which makes them only good for shooting things that are slightly larger than barn doors. Of course, one might argue that this actually makes them more dangerous, but hey, it's a free country. (Also, if you are questioning how fatal these weapons can be, consider this.)

So go ahead, call up Q and have him make you a combination crazy-straw/assault rifle, I hear they're efficient and festive! But, if you're allowed to make a gun out of a PVC pipe and two soda cans then why on earth can't I get gay married?

*We aren't actually condoning violence. We happen to be conscientious objectors (re:Quakers).

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